Rain Rain, Here to Stay?

There is something very serious brewing in my stomach. I was worried I'd gotten food poisoning last night because of the foreboding feeling streaming not from my mind or heart, but from my gut.  This morning it is still there, heavier, and louder. 

Last night was overwhelmingly negative. I woke to heavy rain, as though my home sat next to a cathartic waterfall that was pressure washing my world. Will there be clarity today? Where did last night come from? Which feeling do I heed, the high from before or the low I now know? 

There is so much wisdom I want to ignore with impetuous disregard. I'm not 20 anymore, and emotionally I regress to the love of excess...which I can no longer afford. Efforts to be understood last night were stonewalled by a stubborn bull who either didn't want to or couldn't understand. 

There is a weakness to that wall somewhere and I wonder how much effort and time it will take to find it, and how much of me I will have to sacrifice to succeed.

Today I will wallow in a patient state of uncertainty for the second day in a row. Let there be rain.