It takes courage to walk away from something good. It takes courage to demand the great in your
life. This is the choice I am going to
make for myself. I settled once in this
life and I am suffering the consequences interminably. Now is not the time to make the wrong
choice. All the highs and lows hold my
attention, and create wild mood swings from misery to ecstasy, but it is not
sustainable and will age me faster than it will benefit me.
Making these choices is not my strong suit – I have always
been drawn to the dramatic – it makes me feel like I am living a life
worthwhile. There are ways to enjoy the
extremes in life without the emotional turmoil, without the unnecessary gamble
that I am currently taking. My chest is
tight with grief this morning, a mini-mourning session for a mini excursion
toward love. It wasn’t the right path,
and for that I am frustrated with myself as well as frightened that I might
keep moving forward out of habit.
A friend offered another takeaway to focus on: this
experience has proven that I can, and want to, love again. With every experience there is something to
learn. The faithful would argue that we
are fated to have the experiences we need most to grow. Whether it is destiny or not, the right
perspective is one of gratitude and open-minded introspection.
Making mistakes is okay, making the same mistake again is
not.
